Niente non è Vero. Tutto è Permesso.

I just finished Assassin’s Creed 2 and it was awesome.  Just awesome.  It accomplished everything a sequel needs to accomplish, and did a good job, at that.

A good sequel should do the following:

• be an improvement over the first (or at least as good)
• help further the story in a meaningful way
• correct the mistakes of the original
• add some new, awesome twist to give the sequel its own flair
• stay true to the general outline of the original

Now, in no way is that list perfect, but I think you understand what I’m getting at.  Where AC1 fails (and fails pretty miserably) is its repetition and lack of depth.  AC2 takes all the good from the first and mixes it with an open-world-map in the mold of Grand Theft Auto.  It allows you the freedom to roam throughout not just different boroughs in a large city, but several different cities throughout a large country.

AC2 takes place immediately after the first, but this time, our protagonist (Desmond Miles) finds himself syncing up with an ancestor’s memory who lived in Italy during the 15th century.  Ezio Auditore (Et-zee-oh Audi-toray) is our new hero (or anti-hero, as it were), and we follow him from the murder of his father and two brothers until he learns to become an assassin.

Instead of simply returning to an Assassin’s Bureau and receiving instructions on who to kill, this plays out more like a movie or a book, with one event ultimately leading to another.  The first game clearly lacked any direction in that sense, but was still mind-numbingly entertaining for the most part.  This game allows you to do so much more that it makes my head spin.

There are a million side missions that you can do, and each will allow you to earn more money in order to upgrade armor, weapons, and your countryside villa.  You can also enlist the services of mercenaries (to fight the guards with you), thieves (to lure guards away from a certain area), and courtesans (to distract the guards).  If you’re wondering, a “courtesan” is a 15th century prostitute.  And there are tons of brothels and bordellos during the Renaissance, so you’ll have a plentiful amount of whores to enjoy, as well.

This game is so sick it has swine flu.  Yes, I just said that.  But seriously, instead of one hidden blade on your left arm, now you have one on each.  You often use them simultaneously to carry-out double assassinations (or double air assassinations, which might be the coolest thing I’ve ever seen), and a third, smaller blade is hollowed out and filled with poison, giving you an even stealthier way to kill bad guys.

Oh, and who is the inventor helping you with all of these new gadgets?  Oh, no one important.  Just a family friend.  Leonardo something.  DaVinci?  Yeah, I think that’s his last name.  Seriously, Leonardo DaVinci is your BFF?  This game is so money.

Basically, this game takes all the good things from the first one, amplifies them, and adds in more awesomeness and sex, and bam, finished product.  The Renaissance was one of the coolest times in history, and 15th century Italy was beautiful.  You explore Florence, Venice, and even Rome.  It makes me want to go to Italy and kill someone Templars with a blade hidden in my armband.

They completely mind fuck you with the ending, and its pretty obvious that Assassin’s Creed III is going to be the greatest thing since they began slicing bread.  And since Kelly won’t allow me to name our kids Altaïr or Ezio, I’ll have to compromise and name the cats (that I eventually allow her to have) that instead.

I hope she doesn’t get pissed when I’m attempting to fixate a metal blade to the inside of a wristband and attach that to Ezio-kitty’s arm.

9.5 out of 10.