Am I the only person who doesn’t care about the Olympics?

I really want to care.  I just don’t.  Even the Summer Olympics were boring.  Sure, Michael Phelps was owning the stupid French, but at the end of the day, he was swimming.  Apollo Ohno is owning bitches in speed skating, but I couldn’t care less about ice skating.

I haven’t had an actual reason — a rooting interest, if you will — for watching the Olympics, other than watching someone from another country.  The only person I’m interested in seeing in both Olympics is Usain Bolt.  He’s amazingly fast, he’s extremely cocky, and he’s from my 2nd favorite country in the world.  I mean, the dude was wearing gold fucking shoes.  That’s so far beyond awesome that I don’t know what to even say in response to that.

But this post is not about Usain Bolt.  This post is about my apathy towards anything Olympics related.  When I first heard Vancouver was getting the Olympics, I was pretty excited.  The focus of the world’s attention was going to be in our neck of the woods, and if nothing else, should help stimulate the economy of towns along I-5.

Last night I found myself watching a documentary on how Hitler was actually killed on the History Channel rather than the Olympics.  Anytime SportsCenter attempts to recap the Olympics, I change it or go take a leak.  I don’t hate the Olympics.  I don’t have anything against the Olympics.  I simply don’t fucking care.  I want to care, I just don’t.  It’s kind of like the Sounders; everyone here is ridiculously in love with them, and I want to be, but for the life of me, I can’t get into soccer.  I’d be open to an NHL team in Seattle, because I could definitely get into hockey, but fuck, I don’t care about the Olympics.

Now, if the US makes the finals and plays Canada in hockey, you bet your ass I’m watching.  Not because it’s the Olympics, because I very badly want to see Canada fail.  Currently, the US, Canada, Slovakia, and Finland are the final four teams in contention.  I mean, having Canada lose out on a medal altogether would be funny as hell, but I think giving them Silver would make them even more pissed since hockey is their sport.  Fucking Canadians.  The best thing Canada has ever produced is Robin Scherbatsky.

I just realized this post has been all over the place.  I wanted to talk about my inability to care for the Olympics, and wound up talking about a Jamaican sprinter, Canada sucking, futebol, hockey, and a news reporter that says “But, um…” a  lot.  I need to fucking focus.

If anyone can help me understand my apathetic views on the Olympics, please, feel free to enlighten me.  Or perhaps you agree with me, and like to bash Canada as well.  Whatever the case, someone, anyone, help me.  I’m like a guy shopping for his girlfriend at Victoria’s Secret; lost, alone, confused, a little scared, and possibly aroused.