The World Cup Sucks.
June 18, 2010 9 Comments
I’ve tried to enjoy soccer, really, I have. No matter how good the US is, I still find myself completely apathetic. I don’t hate soccer. Rather, I have absolutely zero interest or desire to watch.
Hell, Seattle even got a MLS team. By all accounts, the Sounders were pretty good in their inaugural season last year, making the playoffs in their first year of existence. I still find myself unable to even slightly care about anything that has to do with futebol.
Look, I get it. Soccer is the most popular sport in the world. That’s great, good for soccer. Well, except the part where we’re the only country that doesn’t refer to it as football, but hey, no harm no foul. I still absolutely do not care about soccer.
There are literally millions of bandwagon World Cup fans who talk like soccer fanatics during the World Cup. There aren’t many things I hate* in this world, but bandwagon fans are one of them (looking at you, “Red Sox Nation”). If you genuinely enjoy watching soccer on a regular basis, then I am not talking to you. However, if you’ve never cared about soccer before, but are attempting to catch the World Cup fever, I hope you get hit by a truck.
*Things I hate:
- University of Washington
- St. Louis Rams
- When people say “PIN number”
- Bandwagon fans
- University of Washington
Stop updating Facebook and twitter with “Oh USA got robbed” and “USA! USA!”. It’s both incredibly annoying and ridiculously unnecessary. I don’t need a fucking running commentary on how poorly the game is going. Just watch the game. We suck at soccer and are going to lose soon anyways.
This post has been extremely poorly written, but I honestly don’t care. My apathy towards the World Cup has caused me to care even less about this post. I tried to gut it out, but I wound up losing steam fairly quickly.
The US doesn’t have to be the best in the world at everything. In fact, we aren’t the best in the world at most things. So I don’t really understand why everyone is obsessing over some dumb soccer tournament we have zero chance at winning. And who would enjoy a World Cup victory more, the US, or Brazil? The US, or South Africa? The US, or any other country?
I don’t care about soccer. I don’t care what you think about soccer. I don’t care about any of it, so everyone, please, just shut the fuck up and go away.
So, if you don’t care what the masses think about soccer, why the poll?
I meant it like, I don’t care that people are upset about a supposed blown call. I don’t care about their play-by-play and what they think about in-game shit or whatever. That’s what I was referring to.
You’ve captured the inner voice of my soul, Kyle. I’ve spent the last two weeks listening to grad students – who are already “experts” on everything – pontificate about corner kicks, “keepers,” slide tackles and all sorts of other bullshit. Just stop it. Catching a Euro League match once every four Saturdays doesn’t mean you’re any more qualified than an eggplant to discuss world class soccer. This is what I hate about election season – everybody watches CNN for 20 minutes and then acts like they’re ready to run the country. And for the last time, I don’t care if your great, great grandfather was born in Argentina. You still look like a fool in that Messi jersey drinking beer at 9 in the morning… especially when you’re from fucking Ocala.
Yeah I agree. When Seattle got our MLS team, everyone freaked out. Then they stopped caring unless they were at the game. I just don’t think that because you’re wearing a scarf with “FC” somewhere on it, that it makes you some sort of expert. People are just dumb in general, and ridiculously stupid in massive groups.
As far as the politics go, you’re spot on as well. But wait, I watched 3 episodes of “The Rachel Maddow Show”, that doesn’t make me qualified to argue politics?
First off, I don’t consider myself a soccer fan at all. The sport is basically on par with hockey in my book. But the World Cup fucking rocks dude. Yeah, I get that you don’t like soccer, and that you would feel like a poser if you were all Johnny come lately and rooted for the USA. Hell, I don’t watch track and field or swimming, but if its the Olympics you can bet your rootie tootie fresh and fruity breakfast I’ll turn it on. What I don’t think you get is the gravity of the Cup. As advertised, soccer IS the biggest sport in the world. People the world over don’t just love soccer, they live soccer. This is the United States’ chance to throw our hat in the ring at something we aren’t very good at on the world scale. Now I’ll admit thats a little less exciting than a midget falling off a bike on Youtube, but it has some merit. More importantly is that its our chance as Americans to be a little cultured. And damn could we use some. You’re you. I know. You’re all like ‘old navy this’ and ‘myspace that’. Well do yourself a favor; Turn off Red Dead Redemption, turn on the World Cup and sit back and try to enjoy the scale. When is the last time you saw a North Korean that wasn’t Kim Jong Il? Maybe you really don’t care, but I’ve got to believe that 99% of the world disagrees with you on this one.
God damn. Did Mikey just pwn me? I believe he did.
Ahh crap on a cracker…the USA won…which means we have to deal with more of this gay sport on TV.
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Sorry, I have traveled the world, and soccer is NOT the most popular sport in the world!
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Because 8 ot the 10 most populated countries DO NOT consider soccer as their favorite game.
China watches ping pong, india pakistan bangledesh watche cricket, USA watches American Football, Russia watches hockey and Japan watches sumo wrestling.
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Those 8 countries have 53% of the population of the world
Yeah but you can’t definitively say that 100% of Russians only watch Hockey and ignore soccer, or that Pakistanis or Indians only enjoy Cricket. You’re going off of populations, but how many 2 year old Japanese babies are watching Sumo Wrestling? How many 90 year old Chinese women are watching Ping Pong? You can’t just say because those 8 countries hold 53% of the world’s population, that that is evidence against my claim that soccer is the most popular sport in the world.
Soccer is — by far — the most popular sport in the world. Nothing really comes close.
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