Night @ the Movies.
August 26, 2010 4 Comments
So remember what I said about expectations a few posts ago? Yeah, same thing applies here.
What’s that? You don’t read my blog? You don’t know what I’m talking about since your name isn’t Kelly, Brad, or Robbie? Ok, ok, here:
One of the first things any movie critic will tell you is to leave expectations at the door. Every once in a while, tempering your lofty expectations or quieting your pre-conceived qualms is damn near impossible. Sometimes a movie like Inception or The Dark Knight receives such praise that you can’t help but expect greatness. Other times, movies garner such awful reviews that you have force yourself to partake.
The same thing applies to this movie. It got absolutely destroyed by the critics, and I can see why it wasn’t a hit amongst smart people. The movie lacks any discernible story or plot, and the acting is cheezy to say the least. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy the shit out of it, though.
The Losers is based on a short-lived comic book series of the same name. Throughout the movie, bits and pieces of comic book are intertwined into the film. There’s a lot of lame one-liners, but man, I couldn’t help but enjoy myself the entire time.
An elite squad of soldiers, lead by Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), are sent to blow up some house in Bolivia. Something predictably goes wrong and they realize they must fake their deaths. Then they find out some super secret Super-Villain named Max (Jason Patrick) framed them. Once this happens, they’re out for revenge.
Yawn. You’ve seen this contrived plot millions of times, and there is absolutely nothing special about this movie. Well, perhaps Zoe Saldana, but other than that, nothing. Still, I enjoyed turning my brain off for a little while and watching a corny action flick.
This is really a waste of a blog post, and it’s probably why I’m posting it at close to midnight. I mean, I guess all eight of you who frequent this blog need movie choices whilst perusing Blockbuster or Netflix. So if you’re looking to laugh at cheezy jokes, bad acting, cool-but-unrealistic explosions, and Chris Evans singing Journey, then get this movie right now.
I mean, if the above sounds stupid to you, then, um, watch for this:
Her guns. Watch for her guns.
Yeah.
7.5 out of 10.
For a second I thought this was part of your critically acclaimed Top 25, Part Deux series. After the shooting pains in my heart subsided, I got to thinking, “You know, I’d totally give this one a chance if it hit HBO at 1:30 on Friday night.” Love Justin Long, too, especially after that turn in “Zach and Miri.”
I almost didn’t write a review of this, because it was so bad. But then I realized, some movies are so bad, that they’re awesome. This falls into that category. The “flipping through the stations at 1:30″ is exactly how I’d explain this to someone. Reminds me of the movie The Condemned with Stone Cold. Just terrible, terrible acting, but I watched it anyway (and loved it).
And man, I do love how gay Justin Long is in Zack & Miri, especially the titles of the movies he is in. That’s all well and good, save the fact that he’s not actually in this movie? So, yeah. Wrong again, Ernie.
Wow I just realized how gay I sound. I love Justin Long, but in a totally heterosexual way. Unless I’ve had like, 2 or 3 Zimas, at which point, I am not responsible for my actions.
Also, the “wrong again, Ernie” is a quote from Rookie of the Year. It’s awesome that I pulled that out of nowhere, but it sounds kind of mean. So I felt the need to explain. Robbie isn’t always incorrect, most of the time he’s attempting to be humorous, and I ruin it.
I’m incorrect a lot, though – feel deserving of the ROY quote. I’ve only seen the trailer, but would’ve bet my life that the guy in the white cowboy hat was Justin Long. Okay, that was an exaggeration. But I really thought it was him.