Dear Everyone: Stop Being Stupid.
July 6, 2011 9 Comments
Mother of the Year? No. MILF? Yes.
This was originally supposed to be a post dedicated to the retards who think they’re suddenly legal experts because they read about Casey Anthony on TMZ. But then I realized I don’t care enough about that to dedicate an entire post to it. However, with zero content around here lately, and juggernauts like Sports Casualties going missing, I need to do something. A guy’s gotta eat.
When something like this happens, middle class white girls everywhere are up in arms. My Facebook and Twitter erupt with uninformed opinions like “OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE’S NOT GUILTY! SHE TOTALLY DID IT!” and “THE ONLY 12 PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO THINK SHE’S NOT GUILTY WERE ON THE JURY!”. Well it’s a good thing their opinions matter and yours don’t, right?
Listen. You don’t know anything. Sure you’ve seen CNN a few times and you heard about how terrible it was that a little girl died. (Ed. Note: anyone that hurts kids deserves to get raped in prison and die a slow, painful death. This is not about me defending Casey Anthony or saying she’s not guilty. She probably did it. But I’m not outraged because we live in a country where you’re innocent until proven guilty, not guilty because the mom is a MySpace whore and you want to feel fake outrage. Go fly a fucking kite.) What you don’t know are any actual facts. Shit, I perused Wikipedia for 10 minutes and am probably more informed than you are. I still don’t have an opinion because I am not qualified to have one. What you think is fucking irrelevant, and you’re also a dumb-ass. Please stop talking.
My twitter dude-bro Aaron said it best:
“If you’re loud and angry about the #CaseyAnthony verdict, there’s a good chance you’re a shortsighted, reactionary dummy.”
For reals, guys. The same people who were saying ridiculous things like “America is by far the best country in the world and I’m glad I don’t live in your country” on Monday were saying “The American Judicial system is broken! She was guilty! Such a travesty!” on Tuesday. Make up your fucking minds, idiots. You either blindly love this country and think it has zero faults, then scream at anyone who says anything different and tell them to move to Canada, or you accept the faults and realize that just because you think she’s guilty doesn’t mean she actually is.
This is real life, guys. This isn’t CSI or Bones or Law & Order: SVU. There was barely any evidence, and it was all circumstantial. Sure she deserves to get gang raped, but that’s not the point. Is she a soulless devil woman? Sure. Is she an unfit mother? Definitely. Should she have her uterine walls removed and dipped in bleach and acid? Probably. But this doesn’t mean we have enough evidence to convict her.
Not guilty is not the same as innocent. The jury never said “Oh hey guys, we totes think she’s innocent. She didn’t do it, it was that fake nanny.” No. The jury said “not guilty because we don’t have enough fucking evidence, and we live in a country where you need to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt the person is guilty”.
Get over yourselves, dumb people.
America! We're probably not #1, but yay anyways!
Stop pretending that I’m not patriotic because I don’t love guns and beer on the 4th of July. I like red, white, and blue popsicles? Does that count? I also enjoy s’mores. I don’t think this country is better than every other country. I think this country is seriously flawed, but I enjoy living here because I have the right to say shit like this and not get my hands chopped off. I’m not moving to Canada just because I don’t vote Republican and read the Bible. Mainly because, seriously? Canada? They’re like a country in training. They’re not real. They’re like a junior country who doesn’t have enough merit badges yet to become a full fledged country. If anything, I’m moving to England. They know how to get shit done. (Minus the whole woman in charge thing. Feminism!)
The same people who were exploding via Facebook were the same people who condemned Kanye West for his interruption of Taylor Swift. Those people then went out and bought his album a few months later, like good little lemmings.
Fake, uninformed outrage is fucking hilarious. Mainly because YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU’RE UPSET! You just like yelling and screaming and pretending to be outraged. Go protest something that matters, like McDonalds bringing back the McRib, or Japan making a burger out of feces. Or anything Michelle Bachmann does.
Long story long, stop. Everyone, just fucking stop. I can’t deal with you anymore. You all pretend to be upset by something, when in actuality, you have no fucking clue what is really going on. You think this makes you socially aware, when really, it makes you socially retarded.
I sure hope I offended you, because I clearly haven’t done enough of that lately. As usual, if you disagree with me, you’re probably wrong, and you can go fuck yourself. I win.
If you were here in my office, I would hug you.
aww shucks.
A-fucking-men.
It is most certainly a sad, scary thing that Caylee went through, there is no doubting that.. but the only person who knows what actually happened to that little girl is her mother. Everyone wants justice, everyone wants to feel like someone is going to pay for the demise of an innocent little soul but the truth is, Casey Anthony is living in her own personal hell. She will live everyday for the rest of her life painfully aware of the choices she made, and how they ruined her life as well as the lives of her family and her daughter. I think that guilt is punishment far worse than any prison cell, or death sentence.
I absolutely agree. Simple truth is that to have a judicial system that allows innocent until PROVEN guilty means that some people who (almost everyone is certain) are guilty will walk because we dont want to wrongly condemn someone who is innocent on heresay. Its the nature of the system, they couldnt officially prove a cause of death, if you cant prove a cause of death how do you prove who caused it? BTW unlike the Nancy-Grace watching guilty until proven innocent crowd, when I say Proof I mean concrete scientific evidence, and as they should, her defense team was able to show that none of the evidence was 100% conclusive.
I think if I were sitting there with my head on the chopping block that is the level of proof I would want before they put me away, and we sure as hell shouldnt accept less proof for other people, even when in cases like this, it sure as hell looks like she had a hand in it.
Fortunately my opinion is 100% speculation just like everyone else who wasnt part of the jury. There are far more important judicial things to be outraged about right now any way. Gitmo? Citizen’s United, Supreme court rulings on health care, union laws, anti abortion laws, f***ing take your pick, with all of this going on our public cries about one asshat getting off for lack of evidence, cause y’know she was an attractive girl in trouble…. This is the real problem with our country, its the f***ing apathy over the important issues and the deep concern over the Kanye’s and the Chris Browns and the Kaycee Anthonys.
Word. I’m with you, my brotha. I also agree with your statement below.
FYI I blame Nancy Grace for the majority of the group outrage on this one.
My favorite quote on the trial came from @bubbaprog (Timothy Burke):
“When someone wins a trial despite spectacularly inept counsel, it’s usually the right verdict. So seriously, like 90% of you need to shut it”
Yes, she was probably guilty. But could they prove that? Absolutely not. The jury made the right decision, not morally right, but judicially right.
People are bored, dumb, and out of work. There were cameras and a hot girl involved. This was a recipe for disaster from the start – an inevitable nexus for dipshit media and dipshit civilization… the low-culture-driven media industrial complex in full force.
As for the actual case, I subscribe to “If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit.” Or was that a different trial?
I’m pretty sure that was the Mary K. Letourneau case. The glove was a condom.