The Walking Dead Sucks.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while. When the show first started, I totally dug it. A post-apocalyptic zombie infested world is an awesome canvas to create good TV, but after the mid-season finale last week, I realized something:

I do not care about this show at all anymore.

The main problem with the show is how you absolutely feel nothing for any of the characters. The key to any great show — 24, Dexter, Fringe, Breaking Bad — is how invested you get in what happens to the characters. Dexter is amazing because he’s always on the brink of getting caught. 24 was great because we knew Jack Bauer would figure out some way to kill everyone. The Walking Dead has a cast full of people I could not care less about.

So Shane shot a dude in the leg to save himself. Is that supposed to make me dislike Shane? Is that supposed to make me like Shane? So now Lori is pregnant. Who the fuck cares? Rick is supposed to be the leader of this group of nomads, but when the show attempts to make him remorseful and always wanting to do right by people, he actually comes off as soft and indecisive.

I don’t care that Andrea’s sister died in Season 1. I don’t care that she’s crazy. I think she’s fucking dumb and almost killed Darryl because she wanted to show she was one of the guys, and then she cries when Shane is trying to show her how tough it actually is when you’re surrounded by zombies? Her whole deal was “don’t treat me like a girl” and the moment Shane yelled at her, she cried and ran away. Way to not buy into gender stereotypes, AMC.

Another reason the show sucks is because, holy shit can you get any slower? Like, I get it. The show is about the survival, and not the escape. Most zombie movies are all about getting out, and getting somewhere safe. The Walking Dead, however, is about surviving another day. There is no place safe, only safer. So I understand there will be lulls, as not every day will be thrilling or terrifying or even kind of exciting. But do you need to spend almost the entire season looking for a little girl who is probably dead?

One of the reasons we can look at a show like The Walking Dead and criticize it so much is because, unlike Dexter or Breaking Bad or Fringe, we can actually imagine ourselves in this situation. The thought of zombies is science fiction, but the thought of a Mad Max-esq post-apocalyptic world doesn’t seem too far fetched. For me, anyway, I watch the show with a “well, what would I do in this situation?” interest, and when the characters do something incredibly stupid like have sex in the middle of a pharmacy, I think, are you fucking serious? Yeah, let’s just get naked and bone right here, right now. Zombies are everywhere, but screw it. I need to get my swerve on.

Shane brings up how there’s no way Sophia is alive. He mentions that after 48 hours, the chances are very slim, and that’s in the normal, non-zombie infested world. He gets shot down for not having a heart. Are you joking? Fucking god. She’s dead. There’s no way she’s not dead or a zombie.

Finally, I dislike how hipster the show has become. If you like a show I dislike, that’s totally fine. I think Breaking Bad is a good show, but some people swear by it like it’s a religion. Breaking Bad is not the best show on TV. It’s not even in the Top 5. But that’s just my opinion. It doesn’t make me wrong, and it doesn’t make you wrong if you think it’s far and away the best. The problem with fans of the Walking Dead (and AMC fans, in general, ie Mad Men, Breaking Bad) is they, by and large, scoff at you and think you’re stupid if you “don’t get” their show. Any time anyone says “best show on TV, there is no argument” it bothers me. I’m willing to listen to why you think The Walking Dead is great, but come up with actual reasons rather than “I love it and if you don’t like it, you’re dumb”. I heard someone actually say “people just need to relax more, do you realize how much hard work goes into a show or movie?” and it made me vomit. Is that what we’ve come to? We have to like stuff now because the people who work on the show have difficult jobs?

The Walking Dead should be an amazing show. It’s not. It started out very promising, and since then, has been nothing but slow and shitty. Zero character development, tons of irrational decisions, no interesting story progression. I want the show to succeed. I’m done watching, though, because they’ve given me zero reason to stay invested.