This is Why I Love Wrestling.

Everyone knew Chris Jericho would return, but they still went crazy. When he held his arms out like a reverse Jesus on the cross, everyone lost it. But when his music finally hit?

Holy balls. The place went absolutely bananas. And so did I. Kelly got mad because she was trying to sleep, and I was marking out hardcore, clapping and jumping up and down like I was 11-years-old.

As an aside, I love love love when they just hit his music intro. They used to do a stupid countdown, and then have an instrumental interlude before the “Break the walls doooooooooown…” lyrics were screamed over the speakers. Immediately starting with those words this time was brilliant. Jericho’s entrance music has been the same since his arrival in 1999. That’s by design. He has the best god damned entrance music ever.

Words Cannot Express My Love For MQW.

 

Marquess Wilson, I love you in a possibly sexual way. Don’t ever change.

The World Is Ending Very Soon.

My season.

Edit: I Googled “train wreck” and a picture of Amy Winehouse popped up. I shit you not. I laughed for a good 10 minutes.

Now, we all know the zombie apocalypse is coming. That much is definite. I mean, it’s just common knowledge. What we don’t know is when this catastrophe will take place. Some believe in December of 2012, others believe the release date of the inevitable Miley Cyrus sex tape. The end of the world, however, is coming much sooner than we all realize, and it’s because something beyond anything we can fathom happening actually happened:

I didn’t win my Fantasy Baseball league this year.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

For the first time in the history of the league, yours truly was not crowned league champ. I can blame it on injuries (and I do, oh do I ever blame it on injuries), but the truth of the matter is, everyone has to deal with injuries. Everyone gets lucky with a pickup or a late draft pick (thanks for keepin’ me close, Lance Berkman!). I managed the shit out of my team this year, and second is all I’ll have to show for it.

Hats off to Pat for finally bringing home that WWE Championship Belt. Pat has finished 2nd in baseball 3 times, 2nd in basketball twice, and second in football twice. He’s the dictionary definition of a bridesmaid. This year, Pat got engaged to his long-time girlfriend. Then he wins the championship finally? I see no coincidence, and can only shake my fist at the fantasy Gods as I, too, have recently made it official with my long-time girlfriend.

So, whatever I guess. I have to act like a gentleman and like this doesn’t bother me, but I won’t be able to sleep for the next year. I WANT MY GOD DAMNED SPINNER BELT BACK, PAT, YOU SON OF A BITCH.

Fuck you, Chase Utley, for being too good not to holdover, but taking longer to come back from injury and then sucking. Fuck you, Ryan Zimmerman, for hitting all of 12 home runs this year and also being hurt. Fuck you, Joe Mauer, for being a fucking dick and getting hurt when I drafted you instead of going with my gut and waiting for Brian McCann (who Pat drafted). Fuck you, Mike Stanton, for having one awesome month, and a bunch of shitty months. Fuck you, David Price, for not anchoring my pitching staff like I had hoped you would.

A special fuck you to Pat’s entire team, who went bananas this year. Most notably though, a HUGE fuck you to Curtis Granderson, who wound up being the 2nd best player in our league. Also, fuck you Alex Gordon, for killing it out of nowhere with 3B eligibility.

I fucking hate everyone and I fucking hate everything. You may all be thinking “Good for Pat, he took down a giant. He was a team — a man — of destiny. He trumped the Dynasty.” To that I say FUCK YOU. Winning once is nice. But me? I’ve won FIVE TIMES. It’s like a fucking drug, and I NEED that title. I NEED to be the champion. I NEED to talk shit to Don. Although, come to think of it, his team was horrible again, so I can still talk shit. BUT I NEED THAT TITLE LIKE CASEY ANTHONY‘S KID NEEDED A BABYSITTER.

Sigh. Until next year, fuck you all, fuck fantasy sports, and fuck baseball.

An Open Letter to the WWE.

Rapper, Actor, Wrestler?

Dear World Wrestling Entertainment:

I have been a fan of your product since you were the World Wrestling Federation. Many a days, I hit my younger brother with a Stone Cold Stunner, or made my little sister cry by putting her in the Sharpshooter. I have many fond memories that involve you, and I’m glad you exist. I’m not asking you to go back to your “Attitude Era” in the late ’90s where Stone Cold was giving everyone the bird and swearing was more prevalent. I’m fine with the current era of your business.

What I’m not fine with, however, is the way you treat your fans.

By absolutely refusing to have your top guys lose cleanly (hell, lose at all), you take away any surprise, any unpredictability, any drama. When John Cena faces someone like R-Truth for the WWE Championship, everyone knows that Cena will win. What’s worse, is he wins the same way every single time. 90% of the match, Cena will take punishment from his opponent. Then, once the “Go Cena” chants start, he’ll Hulk-up, hit two Shoulder Blocks, a Fisherman’s Suplex, a Twisting Back-Drop-to-a-Powerbomb, and then the 5 Knuckle Shuffle.

Side note, do you guys realize that one of Cena’s signature moves is a euphemism for masturbation? Like, for reals? The 5 Knuckle Shuffle? Not only is it super dumb (oh noes, a fist drop!) it’s a term used for pleasuring one’s self. I digress.

After Cena hits his Masturbation Fist Drop, he’ll point to the crowd and hit the Attitude Adjustment.

I’ve literally described every single John Cena match in history.

I don’t actually have a problem with Cena. He’s lame, but he busts his ass and has respect for the history of wrestling. He’s also not like other top guys who refuse to accept losing. He’s all about the business, and he helps put guys like Zack Ryder over. I have a real problem with the WWE writers, who make Cena into Superman, but since they’re nameless and faceless behind the scenes guys, I have to take out my anger on Cena. It’s what a lot of people do, and the reason you hear “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” chants simultaneously on Raw.

I don’t have a problem with Cena or Randy Orton being WWE Champion and World Heavyweight Champion, respectively. My problem is your insistence to never have them lose, ever, WWE. CM Punk is one of your best guys, and he and Orton’s feud was fantastic. However, Orton never lost to Punk. How can you have a rivalry where one guy wins every single time?

You need to introduce the element of surprise. Pushing R-Truth was a legit surprise, and even though I hated it at first, I like that it’s someone new and interestingly crazy. However, if you let Truth beat Cena, that would have shocked everyone. That would have been a legit surprise. That would have made for an interesting storyline. John Cena doesn’t need the title to be your biggest superstar. Without the title, R-Truth goes back to being largely irrelevant and insane.

You had The Miz, who was your Champion at Wrestlemania, lose to Alex Riley. That was legitimately surprising, and it completes the rub for A-Ry. You had Dolph Ziggler beat Kofi Kingston for the US Title, which was also somewhat (although not completely) surprising. You had Evan Bourne cleanly beat Jack Swagger, which is hilarious and it’s obvious Swagger pissed someone off backstage.

But what you didn’t do was complete the job. You allowed both Orton and Cena to keep their titles, and their inability to ever lose makes their characters grow old and stale. Spice things up by having them not only lose, but lose cleanly. When you only have them lose by someone else cheating or extenuating circumstances, it devalues the other performer. I understand you didn’t want Cena to say “I Quit” vs. Miz, but 30+ minutes of Riley and Miz beating the hell out of Cena, and then Cena hits three moves and Miz quits? C’mon. That’s ridiculous.

The reason you’ve always been better than other companies like WCW was your ability to move past ego and do what’s best for the storyline. WCW couldn’t get out of its own way, and that led to its ultimate demise. Now that you really have zero competition (because, really, TNA fucking sucks) you don’t really care about if you’re putting out a good product or not.

Get out of your own way, WWE. Get over your egos. Make this product what it could be, not what you want it to be.

Moneyball is Going to be Awesome.

There’s a zero percent chance this movie sucks. Michael Lewis’ Moneyball was already a fantastic read, and Lewis also wrote The Blind Side (which I totes loved, as did America). I love baseball, and I love looking at undervalued assets. The one misconception people have about Billy Beane is that he only uses sabermetrics and thinks scouts are dumb. Neither are true. Scouts are valuable, but relying solely on eyes to evaluate talent is flawed. He combined traditional scouting with statistics to help find players that would work in his system. Also, Beane didn’t really use sabermetrics; he just focused on On-Base Percentage, which led to runs, which led to wins. While the market was focusing on RBI and HomeRun guys, he focused on guys drawing walks and getting on base.

It’s less about being smarter than people by using advanced statistics, and more about being financially thrifty and focusing on assets that were tremendously undervalued (like how defense has been pretty underrated lately).

Brad Pitt is Beane, and it’s pretty perfect. My one qualm is that Jonah Hill is playing a fictional character who is based on Paul DePodesta. They make faux DePo fat, awkward, and super nerdy. That’s not the case in real life, but what would Hollywood be without its over-the-top stereotypes!

For realsies, though, this movie is going to be fantastic. September 23rd.

Some Nicknames Suck, Others Don’t.

Really?

Attempting to watch the NBA Playoffs is painful because it reminds me of better days. Days when Seattle still had a franchise, I was still young and optimistic, and sports had less crappy nicknames.

This was going to be a long post about how lazy the media has become with doling out nicknames to players based on their initials and first syllable of their last name, but I’m pretty lazy myself, so I’ll just go with bullet points and commentary chock full of mockery.

  • The Glove is awesome. The Glove is original. The Glove had meaning. The Glove is one of the most underrated nicknames in history.
  • Black Mamba is terrible. So, he’s named after a super poisonous snake that basically no one has heard of? Why? Because he can strike quickly? Can’t all snakes strike quickly? I mean, except for Garter Snakes. Those things are like the Rasho Nesterovic of the reptile world. But seriously, Black Mamba? I mean, I get it. Kobe is black. Black Mamba. African Americans are black! ZOMG WE’RE SO CLEVER!
  • When Alex Rodriguez was first dubbed “ARod”, it was actually pretty clever. It rolled off the tongue. Now every single athlete ever has a nickname consisting of the first letter of their first name and the first syllable of their last name. Does Richard Jefferson really need to go by RJeff? I think my all time favorite is Kenyon Martin. Yeah, let’s shorten our name to a department store who filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy! Weeee!
  • I love Chris Paul, so I’ll forgive him CP3 (mainly because it actually sounds ok). When everyone’s least favorite member of the Big Two and a Half was still in Toronto, a lot of online basketball sites and magazines (I’m looking at you, SLAM) dubbed him “CB4″. You’re so original and ingenious! You took his initials, added his jersey number to it, and voila! NEW NICKNAME! Not to mention people will get the reference to the awesome movie with Chris Rock from ’93. Then they’ll think you’re even smarter. I see you, SLAM Magazine.
  • I’m fine with calling LeBron “King”, but if you call him LBJ I want to stab your children in the eyes with rusty nails.
  • While we’re at it, Tim Duncan’s “The Big Fundamental” might be the worst non initial/syllable nickname ever. It basically says “OMG I’M SO BORING BUT HEY, AT LEAST MY TECHNIQUE IS OK”
  • Franklin Gutierrez: “Death to Flying Things”. So, so underrated. Thanks, Dave. We miss you.
  • Walter Payton: “Sweetness”. Might be the best nickname ever.
  • Willie Mays: “The Say Hey Kid.” Original, somewhat corny, but will undoubtedly stand the test of time.
  • I was going to make fun of Shaq for his 5,000 nicknames, but let’s be real here. I love Shaq.
  • Underrated Sonics Player Nickname: Sam Perkins. “Big Smooth.”
  • George Gervin. “The Iceman.” That’s pretty sick.
  • In the “so-terrible-it’s-actually-awesome” department, Tony Kukoc, “The Croatian Sensation”.
  • I can’t, in good conscious, do a nickname post without mentioning Rod Smart. HE HATE ME.
  • Randy Johnson gets bonus points for “Big Unit” also being his penis’ nickname.
  • I may be in the vast minority here, but I’ve always hated Karl Malone. Therefore, “The Mailman” nickname can suck it. Also, they called him that because “he delivered.” I guess this only applied to his regular season career. Are the playoffs then Sundays?
  • Also, “Franchise” was pretty clever for Steve Francis, but I hated Steve Francis. So this nickname can go to hell, too.
  • I know everyone hated him, but I’m rather fond of Stephon Marbury’s “Starbury” moniker. It just confirms that he’s a huge douche. But a self aware douche.
  • Not yet sure how I feel about “Durantula”. I kinda like it, but I kinda hate it. If he were still a Sonic I’m sure I’d love the shit out of it.

I had no real plan going into this post. Pointless, not well written, and mildly humorous. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET WHEN L.A. NOIRE JUST CAME OUT AND I NEVER BLOG ANYMORE.

I totally left off some great nicknames (Sugar Shane, The Reign Man, etc) but I basically wanted to say that I hate Kobe’s nickname, and I think other nicknames suck. So you’ll only get this crappy thrown together post, and you’ll like it.

Now I’ll retreat back to my video game chair and play another 40 straight hours of Xbox.

Why Trading Ichiro Makes No Sense At All.

More than "just a singles hitter".

Lately, there’s been a bunch of buzz about whether now is the time to trade Seattle Mariner’s superstar RF Ichiro Suzuki. If you’re one of the people who believe now is the time to move him, you’re completely mistaken.

First, let me say that this is a pointless argument because if we wound up with a better player, than I’d be all for it. We wouldn’t end up with a better player, though, because there just aren’t that many players better than Ichiro.

If you think we should trade him because of his salary (he makes ~$34 million total the next two seasons), then you’re dumb. The Mariners are owned by Nintendo, and are in no way hurting financially. If we were the Kansas City Royals or the Tampa Bay Rays, then I’d understand the salary dump argument. It simply does not apply here.

If you think we should trade him because we can take his salary and spread it around, then you’re dumb. Having three players that are worth 1.67 WAR each is not the same as having one player worth 5 WAR. When you have a finite number of roster spots, one player worth 5 wins by himself is far and away more valuable than three guys who add up to that total. Also, in free agency, the value of player per win comes out to roughly 4.5 million dollars. So, let’s say Player A is worth 2 wins and Player B is worth 3 wins. If we wanted to grab both of them with this money we’re giving to Ichiro, we’d have to conservatively estimate Player A would get a contract worth at least 9 million dollars a year, with Player B getting 13.5 per year. Simple math tells us that this, in fact, is actually more than Ichiro makes (22.5 instead of 18). So rather than take that and spread it around, you’ve really weakened your team and cost yourself more money.

This all assumes that you pay fair market value, which is not always the case.

If you think we should trade him because of his declining skills, then you’re dumb. Ichiro turned 37 last October, and while 37 isn’t the ideal age of one of your two best players, Ichiro’s skills (fielding, hitting for contact, base running) decline extremely well. Skills like power decrease extremely quickly (see Richie Sexson or any other big power bat that strikes out a ton). Ichiro also keeps himself in better shape at age 37 than most 25-year-olds. So to be honest, age is not an issue either.

For more clarification on his non-declining skills, his WAR the last 5 years has been 5.5, 5.5, 4.0, 5.0, and 4.8. Those numbers are pretty insane for someone who most people write off as just a singles hitter. A WAR of 5 isn’t just ok, a WAR of 5 is upper tier. To be worth 5 wins every year isn’t some nice little accomplishment, it’s Hall of Fame type stuff.

If you think we should trade him because he has value and our team isn’t good, then you’re dumb. Despite everything I’ve stated above, he really has no value on the trade market. Skills that do quite well on the trade market (pitching, youth, power) are all things that don’t apply to Ichiro.

So in theory, trading Ichiro makes almost no sense at all. Now, if someone were to blow you away with an offer (they wouldn’t), then I’d seriously consider moving him. However, since that simply won’t happen, thinking about trading Ichiro is a waste of everyone’s time. He’s one of the best players that has ever played for Seattle, and his ability to get on base is better than almost anyone else in baseball. Trading him during another losing season because you think we need to “move on” literally makes no sense, and everyone around you should throw things at you for even suggesting something so dumb.

Congrats, Mikey.

For the second year in a row, Mikey has beaten me in a close race for the title of WORLD CHAMPION OF FANTASY BASKETBALL. Now, I still think I have amazing holdovers in Chris Paul, Kevin Durant, and Russell Westbrook, but when Mikey has Blake Griffin, it doesn’t really matter who is on my team.

I also blame Chris Bosh for sucking so, so much. I hate you, and didn’t want you, but you were too good not to take in the 5th round. I would love to blame injuries again, but the truth is, everyone has someone important get hurt. So instead, I’ll be a man about it and say:

Michael D’Angelo was the better manager. Michael D’Angelo had the better team. Michael D’Angelo is the Champion.

Not winning sucks. Coming in second place sucks even more (I’d honestly just rather get blown out of the water so I can stop paying attention. But noooo, it had to be super close and come down to the last three or four days). Not winning while coming in second to Mikey, a man famous for kicking the ceiling, sucks more than anything.

Well, almost anything. At least I’ve never finished below Don.

Congrats, Mikey. You deserve kudos. Going back-to-back is hard.

I LOST TO THIS GUY?

 

Thoughts on WrestleMania.

The Last Outlaw vs. The Cerebral Assassin.

I don’t really have some big huge blog post planned. Mainly because it’s 12:30am and today has been long and exhausting. I won’t give one big review since Holt will probably do that over at SC when he gets back, but instead, I’ll go bullet point style and just talk about some highlights.

  • Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio was the first match? Holy hell, what a way to start WrestleMania 27. Edge retained in a shocker (I was like 110% sure they’d give the strap to Del Rio, as he’s been getting a huge push lately). I love Edge, and I feel like a lot of the internet community thinks his act is old. Maybe it’s because I’ve been away from wrestling for so long that he’s still fresh to me, but I’d be pushing him as one of my main guys. Being on SmackDown kind of feels like it’s the same as Junior Varsity. Put Edge back on Raw, have him feud with someone like CM Punk for the WWE Title, and we’ll be good to go.
  • Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan for the US Title got bumped to a Dark Match before the show started. Then it changed to a lumberjack battle royal with no title on the line. Um… what? How did you bump this, and not the shitty Corre 8 man tag match that lasted 90 seconds? They are absolutely misusing Sheamus.
  • Cody Rhodes actually has a pretty decent gimmick right now. He’s obsessed with his now “grotesque” face, and he sort of has this Mankind vibe to him. Holt brought this up, and I’m totally plagiarizing him, but it’s ok since we’re all BFFs anyway. Rhodes should be in line for a nice upper-mid card push. Perhaps for the IC Title? This feud with Rey isn’t great. It doesn’t suck, but it’s not really all that special.
  • Speaking of Rhodes, it’s always weird when a wrestler wears the trunks with no knee pads. Just trunks and boots. It looks like he’s out picking up the newspaper in his slippers and underwear. Dude, get some knee pads or get long pants.
  • CM Punk vs. Randy Orton turned out to be one of the better matches of the night (probably the 2nd best match all night, to be honest). How CM Punk is not headlining every show from here on out is a mystery to me. He is a genius on the mic, knows how to work the crowd, and his style is completely unique to the WWE. Orton caught Punk in a mid-air RKO that made me yell out “HOLY SHIT” as it happened. Orton is a scary, scary individual. When they hold the draft, I kind of want Orton on SmackDown so he can just own everyone and be the World Heavyweight Champion over there.
  • Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Michael Cole was about as awful as you’d expect. It went on way too long, and the decision by the Anonymous Raw GM to reverse the decision was dumb. They hinted at revealing who it was more than once, but didn’t. This “Anonymous GM” angle hasn’t been properly thought out, and it feels like they used it because they couldn’t think of anything else. Hey, at least Stone Cold was there to stun everyone. Not sure why Booker T got stunned, but hey, why not?
  • Hearing JR and King back together to announce at WrestleMania makes 13 year old me absolutely ecstatic. Love Jim Ross.
  • Snooki got booed hardcore. Then she hit some wildly athletic back handspring elbow and the Georgia Dome erupted in a universal, “Um… what? How… ?” followed by a confused applause for Trish Stratus’ giant boobs. Side note: John Morrison’s gimmick sucks, and they need a new one for him. He is being terribly misused. Same goes for Dolph Ziggler.
  • Triple H vs. the Undertaker was legitimately one of the best matches I’ve ever seen. I claimed it was the best right after I saw it, but I was also on the tail end of a 42 ounce Amp energy drink. I was pretty excited. It’s still up there for me in terms of “Holy shit, did this really happen?” For those wondering, a normal submission finisher is applied for roughly 15-20 seconds before someone submits. In a big match, like a title match or a PPV match, it can go for 30-45 seconds. In historic PPV matches at WrestleMania, it can go on for over a minute. Undertaker had HHH in the Hell’s Gate submission hold for 1:49 seconds before he tapped out. That’s an eternity.
  • Match quasi-recap: Triple H hits Undertaker with THREE Pedigrees. THREE. ‘Taker kicks out of all three. Then HHH says “fuck it” and hits ‘Taker with the Tombstone. ‘TAKER KICKS OUT! Triple H retreats to the other side of the ring with a look of sheer terror on his face like, “what the hell do I have to do…” Triple H kicks out of a choke slam, followed by the Last Ride and a Tombstone back to back. ‘Taker is pissed and wondering what HE has to do. After ‘Taker gets absolutely owned with a steel chair (this is what probably legit hurt him, as I’ve never seen ‘Taker this groggy and falling, but old age certainly doesn’t help, either), HHH goes and grabs a sledgehammer. Somehow, ‘Taker springs up and wraps his legs around Triple H’s throat and locks in Hell’s Gate. Triple H looks like he’s going to pass out. He grabs the sledgehammer with his last ounce of strength, hoping to break the hold. He can’t hold it anymore, drops the sledgehammer, and finally taps out on ‘Takers’ thigh. The match went over 30 minutes, and absolutely stole the show.
  • Taker looked legit hurt, and they had to drive him out on a cart. Nice move, WWE. The LayCool/Ziggler match was next. Michelle McCool (the “Cool” part of ‘LayCool’) is married to Undertaker in real life. So, she’s supposed to go work a match after seeing her husband carted past her in the back, straight to the emergency room? Yikes.
  • John Cena is absolutely terrible. What the hell is with bringing out a 50 person all black choir? Then a prayer from DMX. Then John Cena’s entrance music. I was legitimately baffled. I can usually figure out even the lamest attempts to win a crowd, but this? Um, what the hell? Was he playing to the large portion of black people that live in Atlanta? I guess…
  • The Miz, however, had one of the best promos I’ve seen in years. He’s watching multiple monitors in what looks like a control room, hitting buttons. It’s videos of past champions (Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Stone Cold, Rock, Ric Flair) and then it’s intertwined with his time on The Real World and how he created “The Miz” alter ego. Then it shows clips of him training on WWE’s reality show Tough Enough. Then BOOM, cue “Hate Me Now” by Nas and P. Diddy. Cut to audio of Miz saying “I’d rather you all hate me for what I am, than love me for something I’m not.” The words HATE ME NOW up on the monitors. Absolutely brilliant. Push Miz as a big time heel that doesn’t need the approval of everyone, and have him start to legit win matches instead of interference or cheating. They owned his past on MTV, and he basically said, “So fucking what? You don’t like me? I’m the WWE Champion, bitch. You don’t have to like me.” I loved every single second of this promo, and they absolutely need to pay Nas whatever he wants for the rights to that song so Miz can come out to it from now on.
  • The WWE Title match ends in a double count out. Um… yeah. Way to handle your main event, guys. Then Rock comes out and says “start the match again, no DQ, no count outs” blah blah blah. Ten seconds later, he nails Cena with a Rock Bottom. Miz retains.
  • The worst part about the main event is you made your Champion, someone you should be aggressively pushing, look like a giant pussy. He was an afterthought the entire time, as the WWE Title match was the backdrop for a budding feud between The Rock and John Cena. So, um… the guy who holds your biggest and best title is an afterthought in the main event of your biggest PPV of the year? Way to go, WWE. Way to go.
  • Overall, WrestleMania was pretty good, but I was a little disappointed. It didn’t suck, because I would have paid $65 for ‘Taker/HHH alone, but the dropping of the US Title match and their blatant mishandling of their own champion is cause for concern. Monday Night Raw should certainly be interesting.

EDIT: Whoops. I originally said I didn’t have time for a big blog post. Um, 1500 words later, I guess I was wrong.

WRESTLEMANIA 27.

It's gonna be a slobberknocker.

I had this big, long post written in my head about what I wanted to say about this Sunday. I had storylines figured out, I had plot twists, I had interference, I had superstar introductions, even how many finishers it would take to win a certain match.

Then Bryan Holt wrote everything I was thinking before I had a chance to. So, just go read his, because he just saved me a long ass time. Also read my ridiculously long comment at the bottom, as I add-on to what was a great post.

WrestleMania 27 is this Sunday, and it is going to be absolutely epic.

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